


And I won't run anymore (from you)

by TheScarletNeverLies



Category: The Resident (TV 2018)
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Conrad is trying his best, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Whump, but he seriously needs to stop, conrad-centric, it's after season one, jude doesn’t leave, so spoilers for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 21:10:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14962235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheScarletNeverLies/pseuds/TheScarletNeverLies
Summary: Running (away) is easy for Conrad





	And I won't run anymore (from you)

**Author's Note:**

> waddup  
> hope you'll enjoy this but you must be warned  
> *this is not beta tested  
> *it's the first fic I upload  
> *english is not my first language 
> 
> -M

 

Running is easy for Conrad.

 

It’s just being there, not even fully aware of what he’s doing by now, after so many years of practice. It’s putting down one foot in front of the other and moving forward, breathing deeply.

 

There was something about it that made him feel good, maybe it’s the way his legs burn after a couple of hours or it might be how he doesn’t have to concentrate on anything that isn’t breathing properly.

 

(He’s not sure he is)

 

Conrad sometimes feels like he’s been running his whole life, before he even learned how to walk. And, because he has been doing it for so long, he doesn’t feel like he can stop now.

 

So, things got tough, and he’s running. Never slowing down, not now, not ever. Because walking would give him enough brain power to think (about seeing his dad again, that patient he had to let go last night, and now Lily and Hunter and everything he did wrong and could have avoided and- _no, he’s not thinking_ ), instead of just exhausting himself before starting his shift at the Chastain.

 

He doesn’t see the car coming.

 

It just happens, a loud noise in his ears and then pain, instant and flaring throughout his body. Before he even realises it he’s on the ground, going in and out of consciousness. There’s somebody talking to him, but the ringing in his head won’t stop and it hurts, so, so bad.

 

Finally, he regains his bearings and listens to the guy speaking nervously in front of him.

 

“I’m so sorry! Oh my god, I didn’t even see you coming” He seems pretty desperate, and looks like he is going to burst into tears at any second.

 

“I’m good, don’t worry,” Conrad says, trying to stand up and putting all of his weight in his probably sprained ankle and bruised, maybe cracked ribs, which... hurt, a lot.

 

“Are you sure man? Don’t you think I should call an ambulance? You hit your head pretty badly”  he’s already taking out his phone and no, god no, Conrad can’t deal with ambulances right now, he can’t deal with everything right now.

 

So he runs.

 

(Metaphorically, of course, there’s no way he’s running on his bad foot right now)

 

“I’m a doctor, I’ll get checked at work. Just drive me to the hospital and we are all good” he says, and the guy immediately sighs in relief.

 

And they got through the already very thin sea of people waiting to see a dead body, got into the car and drove to the Chastain.

 

He arrives pretty late to his shift.

 

***

 

The guy leaves him at the door and Conrad tries to fake a normal walk until he can’t be seen anymore so he doesn’t make him feel guiltier.

 

He somehow arrives at the locker rooms without crossing paths with anybody he actually has to make small talk with, so he changes undisturbed, indeed noticing the awful bruising in his ribs, the blood on his forehead and the road rash that is so prominent on his arms.

 

It hurts.

 

He cleans the open wounds as best as possible but doesn’t put much thought into it, it’s pretty clear his morning wasn’t a nice one, and everyone is going to berate him anyways for being late, so fuck it.

 

The first ones he sees are Irving and Devon, who barely look at him angrily before starting to talk.

 

“Why are you so late man?! Hey! Are you okay?” and yeah, they are definitely drawing all of the attention to them, but Conrad doesn’t feel like interrupting, so he walks away with a prominent limp and a grunt every time his feet make contact with the ground.

 

He wishes he could see Jude right now, he has always understood how to deal with Conrad in the worst of his moods, he’d get it. The feeling of being hopeless, of being wrong, wanting something to bring you back to reality, even if it’s pain.

 

Jude still doesn’t understand running, but, Conrad thinks, given enough time he could. (or maybe he would talk Conrad out of always running and wouldn’t that be a shame).

 

But his... best friend? Lover? Coworker? Attending? Isn’t anywhere to be seen and Conrad can’t look for him right now, too busy avoiding (not running away) from his friends, who have surely noticed him being hurt by now.

 

***

He manages to catch a case and starts working around the symptoms of an old lady named Amber, who’s very nice and funny and just smiles sadly at him when she sees he’s hurt, like she knows something and prefers not to tell.

 

A little past lunchtime he has a diagnosis and a treatment plan, so he goes to get some food from the cafeteria, and the moment he enters he knows trouble is coming. Irving and Devon probably already told the whole staff to admit him as a patient as soon as they see him because the nurses look at him like they are willing to tackle him and restrain him in order to treat him. He even sees Mina raising an eyebrow and calling Nic’s attention and fuck.

 

He tries to run, really.

 

But he can’t and he crashes into Jude in the hall, who in turn drags him to an on-call room really fast and starts kissing him, not realising yet he is wounded.

 

Conrad is enjoying the hard pace of the kiss, the hands in his ass and lips mixing with his own, right until he is shoved against one of the walls and oh shit, his ribs are not happy about it.

 

It’s the soft scream he lets out that makes Jude really look at him and get his characteristic ‘I’m a bit confused and disappointed’ look, which he hadn’t received in a while.

 

Everything comes back at once to punch him in the stomach.

 

In a mere second, Jude is scolding him, Devon, Irving and Nic crash into the room demanding for him to get checked, Mina calls him an idiot leaning against the door frame and he starts having a panic attack.

 

It’s so hard to breathe and he knows what he’s supposed to be doing but instead, he slides down the wall until he’s sitting and the pain is killing him, so he passes out.

 

He passes out while listening to the people he cares about shouting at him in concern and he thinks that this is the ultimate form of running.

 

***

 

There is nothing to think about for a couple of moments, he is unconscious and doesn’t have to run anymore, is physically unable to.

 

Running has never been as unappealing as it is right now, all of his will and strength down the drain.

 

For the first time ever, he wants to stop.

 

***

 

He wakes up to the annoying beeping he should have gotten used to by now, and a few voices he can distantly recognise.

 

Nic is there, smiling tightly.

 

“You scared us half to death, Conrad. Welcome back”

 

“What happened?” he says, voice rougher than usual.

 

“You passed out from your injuries. The accident left you with several injured ribs, a badly sprained ankle, bruises everywhere and, the winning ticket, a concussion”

 

“How do you...?”

 

“Know about the accident?” Mina interrupts “The dumb kid who ran you over, he came to bring back your keys, and told us everything. You are an idiot” she says, with her usual stoic expression, if not a little concerned.

 

“Yes you are, now we are leaving, everybody else was waiting outside for you to wake up,” Nic says, leaning in to whisper in his ear “We love you, Conrad, please don’t do this to yourself anymore”

 

Mina shouts from the door “Do not think of pulling a stupid stunt like this one ever again” and that’s as much as an I love you he was going to get from her, so he is very grateful.

 

A couple more people pass by, with jokes, and lectures and some candy, but always full of love and the best intentions ever.

 

Devon enters the room before leaving, he looks so unlike the tight kid from Harvard that first came in that Conrad is suddenly shocked, but he sobers up the moment Pravesh starts talking.

 

“You can’t punish yourself like this, it’s not good” he breathes in and out, trying to contain himself “If you need an outlet for your pain and remorse, do a sport, paint, do some freaking yoga, but don’t keep going when you know you shouldn’t”

 

“I already do yoga,” Conrad says, trying very hard to break the silence.

 

“Then it’s a step forward. But remember, if you are gone, then everybody who loves you suffers, don’t be selfish” and with that, he leaves.

 

Conrad cannot run anymore and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

 

***

 

When Jude finally comes in Conrad is waiting for the worst, and, somehow, that’s exactly what he gets.

 

Jude arrives silently and sits in a chair, pulls out a book and pretends to read for as long as he can.

 

Conrad is about to say something when he hears it.

 

“Why would you do that?”

And his confusion must be clear on his face because Jude specifies:

 

“Why would you keep running away from the people who love you? Conrad, if you are going through something, you tell one of us, you let us help you, but all you do is hide from us” at this point Conrad is starting to tear up and he can’t help it, can’t stop the drops from falling.

 

“I know you are used to dealing with stuff by yourself, but it’s not something you have to do anymore. Most people are not your dad, we actually care, so tell me, what happened?”

 

“I j-just saw _him_ ” and the sobs are trying to come out of his mouth but he’ll be damned if he can’t finish saying this without crying “My dad. He came by the ER and said some stuff that reminded me of the past. And then a patient died on my watch last night and things kept piling up and it...”

 

“It triggered you”

 

“Yeah, it did” and he starts full on bawling like a little kid, the way he’s never been able to. And Jude hugs him and kisses his head and whispers that it’s going to be okay, that he’ll stay right there and it kind of makes him want to cry harder. But it doesn’t make him want to run.

 

He’ll try not to run anymore from now on.

 

Conrad figures it’s better to stay and have somebody walk with him.


End file.
